Rules For The Masses
by Babyuknowme13
Summary: There are a lot of shinobi rules and each one is memorized in the academy. Some however have a different view on the rules than others. Natsuko has a few questions about the rules, so she tries to answer them. Will she bend them to suit her needs? R&R
1. Chapter 1

LC; I am so bored.

Naruto; Why do you always write _MORE_ when your bored?

LC; I don't know. I just do.

Sasuke; That would be like asking the sun why it rose in the morning instead of night.

Naruto; I was just curious.

LC; Enough of this confusing prattle! On to this story!

Disclaimer; I do not own Naruto and have run out of topic to talk to him about in Author Space. My life is pathetic.

Chapter 1: Some rules, her thoughts.

Growing the way she had she supossed it wasn't a surprise how she had turned out. Looking at her reflection in the mirror she went over all the things she believed in.

_Rule 25: A shinobi must never show their emotions._

She wore her heart on her sleeve and never lied about it. She trusted unexplicably and loved unconditionaly. She would never think of harming one of her precious people.  
>She always grew stronger by drawing on her emotions in battle.<p>

_Rule 32: A shinobi must never sympathize with the enemy._

Yet so often she found herself doing just that. So many times she knew, in another time, they could have been friends.  
>There were so many examples of this too, Haku, Gaara, Sasuke, she could see herself in all of them.<p>

_Rule 50: To a shinobi the kunai is everything and love is nothing._

She rarely fought with kunai, and placed love as the highest priority in her life. To her it was backwards. The kunai was an object, touchable, so therefore it was everything. However, it took that which was nothing, life, something that could be felt but not touched. Something that could not be seen.  
>To her, love was nothing, intangible, with no physical form at all. For that reason, she saw it as meaning everything. It was something that could be seen but held no form. It could be felt, but not touched.<p>

_Rule 1: A shinobi is a tool._

This one was confusing. Yes, shinobi were tools, no they were not mindless. A shinobi, she guessed, was a sentient tool.  
>A shinobi served those it deemed worthy of serving and could turn their blade to their weilder as well as any enemy. They were a double edged weapon that could harm the holder as grievously as their foe.<p>

Natsuko Uzumaki gazed into the mirror and saw her blonde hair, forever remaining unruly and cut short in what might be a cute bob if it would ever stay down. She saw blue eyes that she knew many associated with the sky. She personally thought of them like the ocean, with infinite depths.  
>She saw the six whisker marks, her marks of the jinchuriki. She thought they made her look exotic.<p>

_Rule 48: The shadows are the most important part of a shinobi._

Yet without the sun, a shadow could not be cast. So for there to be shinobi, there must be something for the shinobi to fight for.  
>They fought for their 'sun' the thing that brightened their day and brought a smile to their faces. Maybe it was a spouse or child? Maybe just the village in general? Whatever it was, the shadows that made the shinobi, the protectors, could not be made without the sun, the thing they protected.<p>

_Rule 31: A shinobi must be ready to die for their village._

She thought that rule above all others was both ingenius and stupid. Genius because many shinobi did die for their home. Stupid because it was the ones that lived that suffered.  
>She thought above all others', that a shinobi must be ready to <em>live<em> for their village. To live after the sun had been blown out and after their comrades had died and their hands been stained with blood.

_Rule 160: A shinobi must unquestioningly follow their kage._

This one she could identify with, but it was also this one that she hated above all others. As a kage, you sent your soldiers out on missions, some suicidal.  
>A shinobi had to accept every mission given. Even though they had the option to say no, no one would refuse their kage. Natsuko knew that this rule was the most important, she knew why.<br>A shinobi must be ready to follow their kage, even to the gates of hell.

END OF CHAPTER, NOW GO AWAY!

LC; Okay, chapter one of Rules for the Masses is complete!

Naruto; Whatever, at least this one is bearable.

Sasuke; Why am I here again? You never make me the star, so you obviously don't like me.

LC; I do like you but I like Naruto better. He is the star of the whole series!

Sasuke; *Grumble grumble*


	2. Chapter 2

LC; More shinobi rules that Natsuko is going to massacre.

Naruto; You really don't like rules, do you?

LC; I have a quote about rules.

Sasuke; Really? What's that?

LC; Rules are like paperclips, meant to hold things together, fun to twist, and easy to bend out of shape.

Naruto; Oh yeah, she's crazy about rules.

Sasuke; No doubt about it.

LC; On to my story now!

Disclaimer; I do not own Naruto so now go away! And no, I do not know where I got the quote!

Chapter 2: Practical rules, their exceptions.

_Shinobi rule #13: A shinobi must be able to analyze their situation in a heartbeat._

Natsuko had seen examples of this. Take for example her first C-rank when her sensei was able to realize the white rabbit was for a kawarmii and told them to duck in time for the giant cleaver to miss them.  
>At the same time, she knew sometimes it didn't take that long, and sometimes it took longer.<br>Mostly no one analyzed anything and just went with their instincts.

Sasuke was an example of this, he charged into battle without thinking about possible attacks from other side, only focused on the fight here and now.  
>Only focused on his goal, and she knows that will one day get him killed.<p>

_Shinobi rule #42: Shinobi must know the basics of nin, gen, and taijutsu._

Gai-sensei and Lee only ever used taijutsu, though she was fairly certain Gai knew some good jutsu, he never used them.  
>You didn't need flashy tricks to be a succesful ninja. You needed the right mindset.<p>

_Shinobi rule #69: The mission is everything._

This rule was taught at the academy alongside the importance of teamwork. She sometimes wondered if being a hyprocrite was required for shinobi.  
>She could see ways that believing this rule could screw with one's life. She saw it everyday in her sensei, Kakashi Hatake.<p>

_Shinobi rule #86: Missing nin are to be killed on sight._

This rule was perhaps the most ignored. Largely, when shinobi had a chance meeting with a missing nin from their countries, they passed by without even a glance.  
>A fight took the lives of those you used to work next to, no matter if they betrayed you or not. No one wants to fight someone they used to know.<p>

Not even the sannin wish to fight eachother, and perhaps that is why all three still walked the Earth to this day.

_Shinobi rule 73: The Kage's safety is the number one priority._

Wasn't it ironic that everyone seemed to think the strongest shinobi in the village was the one that needed protecting?  
>Natsuko knew about the ANBU guards following Sandaime-jiji around. She could see how sometimes he would glance over at a seemingly empty corner and roll his eyes.<p>

She remembered how they all used to react when they found out he had snuck away to spend time with her.  
>She wished she could see the ANBU's faces at times such as these.<p>

_Shinobi rule 17: A shinobi must accept death as a job hazard._

So many though could not take the death of a loved one. She understood this law most, despite that she had met so few who followed it.  
>That's why she never reported it when it was shinobi that attacked her on October tenth. They, in their own way, were grieving for their lost loved ones.<p>

She couldn't bring herself to tell Sandaime-jiji who attacked her. She made excused like she couldn't remember or that she didn't see them before blacking out.  
>She thinks he knew she was lying, and sometimes, she thought she saw understanding in his eyes.<p>

It's hard to deal when you've lost the thing you once fought for.

_Shinobi rule 10: It is a shinobi's duty to give their lives for the civilians._

Sometimes, in the dark of the night, she wondered if this is the rule that sealed the fate of the Uchihas.  
>The majority of them had been shinobi, and she wondered if it was this rule's existence that forced them to die that bloody night.<p>

She had wandered into the Uchiha district, injured from another beating, when she found the bodies.  
>She had been sick that night and had been ill the next day. She never spoke about it, not even to Sasuke. Maybe if she had, it wouldn't have turned out this way.<p>

END OF CHAPTER NOW LEAVE THE SACRED SPACE!

LC; Okay, that was hardcore.

Naruto; You made me angsty!

Sasuke; She had to even it out. Last time you were all lovey dovey.

LC; Bye till next time!


	3. Chapter 3

LC; We're back with more shinobi rules!

Naruto; Oh joy.

Sasuke; I can barely contain my excitement.

LC; This time from Shikamaru's POV!

Naruto; Wow this is great news!

Sasuke; I still think this is a waste of time.

LC; Silence slave! Now either do hot yaoi sex with Naruto or leave Author Space.

Sasuke; Not a hard choice.

LC; *Uses millenium pencil to write his next actions*

Sasuke; *Rapes Naruto*

LC; It's good to be pharoah.

Disclaimer; I do not own Naruto or YUGIOH! I am merely using them for comedic relief.

Chapter 3; Logical Rules, The idiocy behind them.

_Rule #24: A shinobi must be able to kill without hesitation._

Shikamaru had been the last of the rookies to have his first kill. He only got his from Hidan, and technically he's not dead.  
>He was told he shouldn't feel bad about taking a life, that it's all a part of the job, in the academy. However he knew what happened to the people who took this rule to heart.<p>

He didn't want to end up heartless, even though he knew it was a possibility for everyone. Yes, they can all kill without hesitation, but it's what they do after that makes or breaks them.  
>The first kill, no matter who you are, it shook you up. It was only when you got to the 50th and you realize it doesn't hurt anymore, that it goes bad.<p>

_Rule #41: A shinobi will never betray their village._

He sometimes wondered, as he looked up at the clouds, if any of the missing nin knew about this rule. Or did they just ignore it?  
>Contrary to popular belief, he didn't gaze at the clouds to laze, he did it to think. This was the sort of things he thought about.<p>

_Rule #71: A shinobi is only as good as their arsenal._

Sometimes he wondered if the one who made this rule had anything specific in mind. Did they mean weapons, jutsu, or taijutsu moves? It needed a little specification.

Shikamaru sighed and rolled over on the soft grass, his eyes closed. Some of these rules were unspecific, leaving room for people to bend them.  
>He understood the council couldn't cover every base, but they could at least cover the major ones.<p>

_Rule #43: A shinobi will report to the hospital every six months for a physical._

He'd actually laughed when he came across this rule in the handbook, exactly six months after becoming a genin.  
>It was a well known fact all shinobi hated hospitals. Many preferred dealing with the pain of their wounds rather than the doctors and nurses and white rooms.<p>

In fact, he'd be shocked to find someone who had been a shinobi for an entire year who went to his physicals.

_Rule #20: A shinobi of chunin and above must have a mental evaluation every year._

This was worse than the rule about the physicals. No one, not even a civilian, wanted to spend the whole day talking to a shrink about their jobs.  
>None of them wanted to just lay on that weird couch thing and answer questions like 'How have you been feeling' all day. It was annoying, embarassing, and frankly disturbing.<p>

Who gave those shinobi shrinks their lisence anyway?

_Rule #80: A shinobi must fill out a mission report after every mission and turn it in to the administration office._

Why did they have to fill the troublesome things out right after getting back? After most missions, a shinobi is exhausted and wants to sleep.  
>They do not want to spend a good hour just filling out a stupid sheet of paper about every little troublesome detail of their mission.<p>

That is why many did not turn in the report until the next day! So they could get a little untroublesome sleep!

Shikamaru above all others, hated this rule. He hated more the fact his teammates always snuck off when they got back, leaving him with the job.  
>It was more than just troublesome.<p>

END OF THE CHAPTER! NOW SOMEONE GIVE ME IDEAS FOR MORE RULES!

LC; I'm running out of rule ideas pretty quickly.

Naruto; So therefore she has decided to ask the readers for their take on it!

Sasuke; Please do NOT send anything in.

Naruto; Yeah, we want this torment to end!

LC; Quiet slaves!


	4. Chapter 4

LC; Time for more rules! This time in Kakashi-sensei's POV!

Naruto; Why him?

LC; I thought it would be interesting since he was so obsessed about rules earlier in life.

Sasuke; She's got a point.

Naruto; True.

LC; Enough of this mindless idiocy, on to my story!

Naruto; Wait, how does this qualify as a story?

Sasuke; Yeah, it's just a bunch of rules and people's opinions.

LC;...What am I supposed to call it?

Both; We got no idea.

Disclaimer; I do not own Naruto. I own the many rules listed here though, because I invented them. HA! Take that Kishimoto!

Chapter 4; Varied rules, their hypocrisy.

_Rule #3; A shinobi's first loyalty is to their kage._

First loyalty to their kage, and if that kage died and was replaced with another, would they be forced to be just as loyal to that one as well.  
>Kakashi has seen the changes from Sandaime, to Yondaime, to Sandaime, to Godaime, and then to Rokudaime.<p>

He looked up to the blonde girl, no woman, accepting the hat and pondered the rule some more.

There wasn't much point in this rule, because times kept changing. One day, maybe shinobi would vanish from the world, but this rule might live on in some musty old handbook. Times change, people are born, the grow up, and then they die.  
>There wasn't much point in being loyal other than just for the sake of it. After all, he would listen to them all, but he was loyal to only one.<p>

And she was standing up there, looking down at him with her hundred watt smile, her blonde hair free in the air.

_Rule #69; All non-village shinobi are to be exterminated on sight._

This rule basically meant that if one were to find a young boy or girl holding ninja skills, but never trained in a village, they were to be killed.  
>That was a load of bull, and every ninja knew it.<p>

They hadn't done anything wrong except defend themselves. That's why the majority of theem were ignored.

_Rule #17; Konoha will never leave a comrade in the field._

That was, in his honest opinion, the worst load of shit he'd ever heard in his entire life. So many times, someone stayed behind, sending others on ahead.  
>People like Rin, who sent her patrol forward to try and draw the Kyubi's ire, to give them more time to prepare.<p>

Kakashi looked to her name carved into the memorial stone with eyes as hard as the unforgivable rock's.  
>He still hated himself for letting her die.<p>

_Rule #32; The council is there to advise the kage and nothing more._

Kakashi glowered up at the dodery old fools on the table and this rule came to mind. Did the councilmen know about this rule? He should show it to them, just to see the looks on their faces!

"Kakashi, as that eye is the propery of the village, by signing this you state that on your death the eye shall be given to a worthy successor." Did they really think he was giving up Obito's eye so easily?

"Koharu, Homaru, you'd be wise not to 'forget' to invite me to such an important meeting again." She, as always, had a much better sense of timing than he did. Kami he was happy she got here in time.

_Rule #85; A shinobi who dies in the line of duty will have their name carved into the memorial stone found in training ground seven._

That was such a useless rule. Even without it, people would carve the names of loved ones onto it's glossy surface.  
>Whenever he came here before a big mission, he always made sure that the older names had been seen to, so they would not fade.<p>

As he finally got up and left, he looked over his shoulder for one last glance. After all, he might not come back one day.

He could've sworn he saw the rest of team Minato standing around the block. He could swear he heard Obito's voice.

"Don't be late Kakashi!"

END OF CHAPTER AND END OF STORY! I HAVE COMPLETED THIS STORY! NO AMOUNT OF REVIEWS WILL MAKE ME WRITE MORE!

LC; I have gotten to where I want to be with this little fic.

Naruto; So you just got bored with this and didn't want to give it away.

LC; *Splutteres* NO!...I just can't think of any more rules.

Sasuke; Of course you can't.


End file.
